Your 35 and she’s 21. Sure it’s great in the ego department.
You have a young woman on your arm, in your bed, to show off to your friends, and to make you feel like you are in your twenties again.
But is the relationship really going to last and have substance or is it just something that is going to be a memory sometimes in the future?
If you are looking for a serious relationship then you need to examine a few things about her and you together before you really buckle down and commit.
Her maturity level (or yours)
Do you speak the same language when it comes to experience in life and what you want to experience. I know many older guys who have done their partying in their 20′s and are ready for more substantial moments in their life that involve growing as a person. If she is not going to be done with that part of her life for a while you may grow apart quickly, and become tired of her coming home drunk at 3am.
Of course maybe you both like to party and maybe you are both past that part of your life – either way make sure your majority levels match on that point or you’ll be looking at disaster.
Your social life
Whether you like or not you both have friends, and friends are a big part of anybody’s life. So even if you get along with her, are you going to get along with her friends for life? Tension can arise quickly if you don’t like her friends and start to distance her from them. If you don’t try to distance her from them then you may find you’re living a separate social life completely (you with your friends and her with hers.) and that’s not healthy for a relationship.
A strong relationship will consist of separate lives that can mesh together well. Enjoy moments alone and with friends is essential to happiness.
Her experiences in life
The older you get the more lessons you learn in life. Maybe she has learned all the lessons you have – and that’s great! But if she hasn’t then it may become a nuisance to you to have to deal with those issues all over again. There are many examples of this.
For instance you may have learned a long time ago not to trust your money with a guy who says «I’ll double it for you!», but if she hasn’t learned that lesson yet she may take your money and give it to that guy in hopes he will double it. You may have learned the lesson but you still have the experience happening to you because she hasn’t learned it for herself yet.
If this kind of thing happens to often you can start to make her feel stupid or ignorant, and almost as though she should know better – when in reality she shouldn’t because she hasn’t learned those lessons for herself yet.
So make sure you are on the same page for experiences in life or you could find hurt feelings and angry confrontations down the road.
If you get sick will she stick around
The chances of you getting old before her are 100%. I’ve worked in seniors homes where the wife would come and visit everyday. Is your young lover going to show up at the seniors home when she could be doing other things?
Of course these are just a few of the things that you should look at when considering dating a younger woman for a serious relationship. But you should ask yourself them! Don’t blindly get into a relationship and hope everything will work out because chances are it won’t. Save yourself that disappointment.