Rejection – It Happens To The Best of Us!
Everyone has experienced dating rejectio n at some point in their lives. It goes something like this. You like a guy or girl so you make a move on that guy or girl, or you even get a date and go out with them, and then BAM you get rejected.
It hurts, it sucks, and it can take a toll on your self-esteem if you let it. Even a small rejection can hurt if you deal with the rejection in the wrong way.
Believe it or not there is a right way to deal with rejection that will help you become more successful the next time you approach or go on a date someone you like.
4 Steps To Increase Your Dating Success
Step 1 – Do Not Make Up Stories in Your Head After The Rejection
Do not make up stories in your head when you are rejected about WHY you were rejected. It can be very easy to do, I know, but it can also drag you down into the pit of despair.
For example, if you get rejected because they say they are not ready to date yet, then do not take that as them saying they are not attracted to YOU, and that you are not desirable or some other nonsense. Instead take it at face value.
Step 2 – Find Out Why You Were REALLY Rejected
If you have a friend who talks to the person who rejected you then see if you can find out the reason you were really rejected. This is important, because you need to know the real reason before you can move on to the next step.
If you don’t know someone that talks to them then you can ask the person later on once the awkwardness of the rejection wears off. They may not be totally honest with you because they don’t want to hurt you feelings – but if you tell them you want to know the real truth so you can improve yourself then they may just give you a softened version of the truth.
If you can’t find out the truth from them then ask your friends to be honest with you about what they think happened. Your friends should have the decency to be honest with you if you ask them to be. And they will most likely know what dating mistakes you are making.
Remember that you need to know the truth before you can move on to the next step.
Step 3 – Take What You Learn And Fix It
If you find out that you are too pushy during your approach then learn how to not be pushy. If you find out that you rush things then learn how to take things slower.
See where I am going with this?
Problems or faults are easily fixed if you take some action to fix them. And if you are constantly getting rejected for the same thing then it is a fault, a mistake, which you are making over and over again and could affect you getting a guy or girl that you really want.
There are many resources out there to help you fix your issues; All you have to do is take action, find them, and put what you learn into practice.
Step 4 – Try Again!
Once you have corrected your faults and fixed your mistakes then you can get out there and try again! You can see if your new approach or attitude or whatever does better for you in the dating game.
If you keep getting rejected then start the process over again. You may not have completely corrected the issue or there may be another issue that you were not aware of. The point is you can’t give up.
Many people give up when the going gets tough, and who knows if they wouldn’t have succeeded a week, a day, or even an hour later after they have given up.
There are many stories about finding love at a time they least expected it. Don’t give up and risk losing that story.
Always remember that rejection is vital to your success! It teaches you what you are doing wrong and allows you to become better.
This 4 step process is essential if you want to stop making the same mistakes over and over again, and avoid dating rejection.
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4 Steps To Increase Your Dating Success
Any form of dating can be nerve-wracking, but blind dates are probably the most hated form of date, whether you’re a man or a woman. The first thought most people have when their friend says «I should set you up with so and so, she’d be perfect for you» is to run away, fast! Next time you hear those words, though, give your buddy a chance. You never know, he might actually have found your soul mate
Here’s a few tips that will help you to get through the date with your sanity and dignity intact:
Control your expectations
Don’t build up a mental image of your prospective date. Hiding disappointment when your buddy’s version of «tall and blonde» is nothing like your version is almost impossible, and even if your date does turn out to be funnier, slimmer, or more attractive than you expected, do you really want to get a little tipsy and let slip «You’re not as fat as I thought you would be!» If you have no mental image built up, you won’t be able to slip up.
Dress Up, But Not Too Much
Aim for smart casual menswear for your first date. This shows that you’re willing to make an effort, but avoids any awkward moments if your date has went firmly in the «smart» or «casual» directions. It also allows you to fit in at the cinema, a bar, a restaurant, or a nightclub – so picking a venue should be easy enough.
Leave the Destination Open
Instead of over-planning, arrange to meet at a coffee shop or somewhere similar, and pick a destination from there. That means that if things are awkward you can suggest heading to the cinema, which is a great way to kill time with no conversation required. If you’re enjoying each other’s conversation, your Barbour jacket should qualify as smart casual menswear and gain you entry to a fancy restaurant, and if you’re both party animals you can hang up that Barbour jacket in the cloak room of a local night club and let your hair down for the evening.
Don’t Be Cheap
If you’re keeping the evening open, make sure you’re willing to foot the bill. If your date insists on splitting the bill, then don’t push too hard to pay it, but don’t get out the calculator and work things out to the nearest penny either.
End the Date Politely
Whether you had a good time or not, be courteous when the evening ends. If you think that the date went well suggest a time and place for a second meeting. If you didn’t have a good time, just say something along the lines of «It was nice to spend the evening with you» and leave it at that. If you didn’t enjoy the date, there’s a good chance that she didn’t enjoy it either, and she won’t be expecting you to call her.
Resist any temptation to be rude, even if you thought your date was insufferable. Remember you were put in touch via a mutual acquaintance, and if you’re rude to your date, it will get back to them.
Written by Amy Fowler on behalf of Anna Davis; specialists in smart casual menswear brands including Barbour.