In every dating advice there is strong emphasis on how important is the practice. Indeed, practice and experience, is something that makes or breaks your success in various fields, including the dating field.

I’m hitting this topic, since there is one very important thing in this whole concept of practicing that many do wrong. This is, again, valid in all areas. One can practice a lot and have very little improvement and at the same time, one can practice little and have significant improvement.

Putting aside natural gifs and talents, this is what usually happens. One guy is getting ahead of others, yet they all practice the same amount of time, doing the same things.

How is that possible?

The difference is, being aware of your practice and the specifics you’re trying to master. Are you just talking to people, or are talking to people, focusing your attention of the way you voice sound? Are you just speaking with girls, or you keep your attention of the way her emotions are expressed on her face?

Just practicing can be inefficient way of learning things, except getting general feeling of the basics. Also, trying everything at once, will lead to getting overwhelmed, thus again practicing inefficiently.

Focused practice, on the other hand, will get you very good at one certain aspect of your area. After you get good at that, you can switch your focus into another aspect. The point is doing it step by step, one at a time. After you feel comfortable with it, go to the next step and then add another one.


Examples of different aspects you can focus, can be:

  1. Your voice – tone of speaking, speed of talking, clarity of speech;
  2. Your inner feelings – when you get excited or worried, when the feeling goes up, when it goes down;
  3. Your body – how you move, how you sit, how your body reacts when you are nervous, how your body behaves when you are relaxed;
  4. Your awareness of the person in front – what changes their mood, how you can read their current emotional state, how does their face and body changes when you switch topics;
  5. Your content – the questions you ask, the stories you tell, the teases you make, the way you present them.

The list can go on. The point of it is not to be complete, as to give you direction on what you can focus, each time you practice.

Trying everything at once, especially in the start of each endeavor, will most likely result only in frustration. Honestly, I made that mistake far too many times. Also, just practicing for the sake of practice, can be a little relieving, but is very slow process at getting good at something.

Focusing on single thing each time you practice, will certainly make the difference of getting mediocre and getting good, and then, beyond. It can sometimes get tedious, but when you think about it, there will always be a new detail, you can now see, and focus on.

Keep this in mind next time you are practicing, no matter in front of the mirror or in a real life situation.
What’s the last time you had challenge with trying to learn something new?
Tagged as: dating advice, dating skills